Few days ago , I was reading a magazine and saw an article about “how to raise kids”. “wow” I thought to myself. “ lets read and see how am I doing at raising kids”?. 10 minutes and 8 pages later I was deep in sea of depression. O M G I have been doing it all wrong. According to the article I was a very bad mother who gave sugar to her kids, let them play and get dirty in backyard, front yard and everywhere in the house. I was an unorganized dumb woman who never put kid’s toys according to their shape, size and color. I never gave them 8 portion of fruits and 3 portions of proteins in their meals. Hell I don’t even know what is the size of portion for kids. I have no time table for my kids. I let them what they want so where am I parenting. I thought miserably. I was considering myself quite good but I was a failure. I will definitely try to be a good mom but, I thought, let’s start from Monday. I mean Monday is start of week and I will be fresh and energetic and less cranky by then. Just as I was having a lucid day dream about having perfect kids, perfect body and perfect eye liner, my phone rings. It was my mother.
‘Hello ami’, I said quite cheerfully.
‘Hi bayta, how are you doing?’
‘How are kids?’
‘They are fine Alhamdulilah’.
‘What they took in lunch today?’
‘Oh, I gave them some chocolate chip cookies.’
‘Bayta, give them some solids. They will never learn to eat. They will be mal nourished and skinny as ever.’
( Oh God, it’s still better than Jam toast I took all my life to school and college) I thought (and here I am now eating everything, birthing two kids and still alive and healthy)
‘Jee ami, I will , for sure.’
‘Take care ami, Allah hafiz.
I put my phone down and went to kitchen to grab a drink of chilled coke. A neighboring aunty was sitting in lounge having chit chat with my MIL.
‘Aslamoalikum Aunty,’ I said
‘Hello bayta, how are you?’ she asked
‘I am fine,’ I smiled
‘My daughter just had a son’. She told me
‘Mashallah,’ I congratulated her happily. ‘What a good news. How is your daughter?’
‘She is fine,’ she replied, ‘she was very happy when I called her. I asked her not to be a smart phone mama now.’
‘What.’? I asked, quite confused
‘I mean bayta, like you, always giving smart phones to your kids instead of your time.’
‘Excuse me,’ I was quite taken aback
‘Yes ‘, my MIL intervened , ‘now kids prefer smart phones and games more as parents are also busy in these things.’
Ok that was enough for me, so I excused myself quite politely and went back into my den. Which is actually our room of two adults and two kids but has clothes, toys and stuff of like 100 people? The only available place was where I left my magazine. So I sat there. Quietly. Thinking. It’s been 6 years,7 months and few days since I am a mother. And God knows I have tried hard. It’s been 8 years and 4 months since I am married and I haven’t watch any season of Jhalak Dhikla ja, or master chef or even desperate housewifes. I even don’t if it’s on air or not now. I stopped watching movies. I stopped listening music. One thing I still do is reading. What else I do for myself. I gave my everything to my kids and still never ever had a compliment from anyone. Why we are so hard on mothers?. Yes I gave smart phone to my kids. But if smart phones were available at these aunties time, she would have done the same, wouldn’t she? Didn’t she and my mother and every mother of grown up kids let their kids watch ainak wala jin. What we learned from it? Was Bill batori, nasaa chori was good thing to learn? That time was different, this is different. Yes we as kids wander in streets, play with other kids in our neighborhood. But can our kids do that now. I have been married so log and I never went to any of the neighboring house. How can I send my kid there? What choices do I have???
I put my hands on my burning eyes, may be all of them are right. My kids will be very bad kids. Their mother doesn’t floss them two times a day. Whenever it’s their MacDonald day, I don’t let them eat anything 3 hours before so they will finish their happy meals. Yes I am that mean.
Anyways it’s never too late, I told myself. If I can survive giving birth without any painkillers and even without screaming (shouting profanities are not included in screaming, are they?) I will survive this as well. I will make a list of things to do and when to do. There will be no phones (ok less Phones).
So I made a time table for my kids, which goes like this
Home time 2:00 p.m
Washing face and hands and changing clothes 2:10 pm
Lunch time 2:30 pm
Home work time 3:00 pm
Snack time 4:00
Play time 4:30
Dinner time :6:00
Bed time :7:00
OK That’s it. I though. I will follow the time table so I will not be at least unorganized. Now let’s think about meals. I will give them more fruits and may be a piece of chicken today. We will eat healthy and I will be a good Mom. I will be. I just.. I just have to wait for Monday. Monday is the new day, new beginning. Right? Today is Tuesday so it will be some time. I can do some research about child psychology and will refine this time table. So let’s wait..
For the perfect Monday 😉